Episode 1 Overview:
This podcast was recorded the week of Sunday, November 22nd. 2019. Tracey and Blythe shared some of their personal career experiences and what they learned from them. These experiences were the source of the reinvention process they developed to help others create their own transformations.
Outline:
About the co-hosts and the movement
What is different about career reinvention versus just getting another job?
Are you ready for a career reinvention?
What are the barriers or things that make us pause or hesitate?
Detailed Show Notes
About Tracey Wik
My name is Tracey Wik and I am the co-founder of Love Sunday Nights. Welcome to our podcast. Love Sunday Nights is designed to create a community, a place for you to go to, to find what you need so that you love your job as opposed to dreading Sunday nights, having to wake up Monday morning, going to it. And the reason that this is so important.A little bit about me is, first of all, I think anyone listening to this can relate to the feeling of not loving what you do. I think if you've worked long enough, which in some cases doesn't have to be very long, there's probably a time in your life when you have not loved your job. And typically Monday mornings, you know that that pit in your stomach, which I've had, starts to set in on Sunday night. For me, it was about 3:00 p.m. on a Sunday when I would start to think about the next day, having to drive an hour to a job out in the western suburbs of Chicago that I did not like. And I knew it if I was really aware I wasn't at the time. But if I was aware, I would have known I didn't love it, based on the first day of being there. But I worked there for four years and for four years I drove an hour, and with each mile on the road, the anxiety grew until I would walk into the office, just really with a kind of a knot in my stomach to moving its way up to my throat. And the reason for that is because it was just the wrong fit for me. I'm a very unconventional thinker, always bringing in new ideas. It was a very traditional setting and at the time I had just adopted my two year old daughter when it was the financial recession and she has special needs. So I really needed the not only the income, but the insurance. And I stayed this situation far too long and just was I guess the reason I'm telling you this is it. I my goal here is to create a movement to give people the tools to not be like me. And I know Blythe has a similar situation.
About Blythe Kazmierczak
This is Blythe Kazmierczak, and I am also the co-founder of Love Sunday Nights. And my personal connection to this and why I'm so motivated to help people have a life they are truly living fully is because I, like Tracey, was in a situation where a company that I loved, I entered very early in my career and was therefore for 15 years and grew up kind of in that environment was sold. And immediately I had to figure out what to do next from a career perspective. And I ended up going to another organization that very much like Tracey's that was not a good fit for me. And the experience of closing Friday, having the relief Saturday, by doing something fun with my family, gardening, doing something. And then I'd wake up on Sunday and start to feel that unsettled feeling that grew over the course of the day until that night. It was actually palpable and it would have me have a hard time getting to sleep. And then I would wake up on Monday and figure out how to go and try to make something work that wasn't working. And I drove for an hour, leaving my two year old without being able to have breakfast with him. I would leave early. I would get to downtown Chicago and interact with a set of people who didn't see me and didn't appreciate what I brought and didn't really want to hear my ideas. And it it did not feel like flow. And it took a while to sort out. Was it me? Was it was it the job? What was it? But at some point when you're in these situations, one of two things happens. Either the rug gets pulled out and you get fired or the business gets sold or new leadership comes in and it's regime change. And everything that was important is no longer important. And then everything gets reshuffled and you're in one of those situations or it gets so unhealthy, that feeling of being a square peg in a round hole that doesn't fit in the resistance that you feel in that environment, it becomes big enough that you don't care about the risk of not having a paycheck tomorrow or the social pressure of breaking relationships of people who work there that you care about and you decide I'm going to change something. And I've experienced that set of situations multiple times, and I think what I've learned through that process is it is a lot of work to take what you have built in an organization or in a career area or in a subject matter and leave that version of it behind and create something new. And so some of those trigger events put you in a situation where you're inspired to do it. And having lived through that a few times, I think what I just it's kind of magical to watch is when someone's put in that situation and they choose to be creative. It is a really beautiful thing to watch because you see them coming live. And so that's why I'm passionate about Love Sunday nights. Personally, I wish I had a resource like this when I was going through those tough times. But I imagine with so many people out there adjusting to what's happening to work around us and how many people are going to need to reinvent who they are and what they care about, what they know and what they apply themselves to. We want to provide a resource and a community to support people in that kind of transition.
About the Movement
So this podcast is going to go through a couple of questions. Tracey, they're just going to introduce some concepts here related to the subject. And we plan over time to interview people who are in this career reinvention process and give you guys examples to listen to to inspire you, to challenge your thinking about what it could look like. But for today, it's really just helping you hear our point of view and thoughts about it. And we'd love to, you know, evolve over time what this looks like. But initially we're just going to start with some questions.
Question 1: What is different about career reinvention versus just getting another job?
Tracey Wik: Well, I think about this question. I'm reminded I had a similar situation to Blythe where I had a job that I loved and worked at for close to almost 20 years. And I was at a reunion. We all stay in touch. Right. And we were sold as well. And as I think about what's different about career invention versus getting another job. I'm thinking about that reunion where one of the people came up to me and said, I've been watching you and I could I should I should compliment that person. We should actually interview them on this on this podcast, because she was saying, I've just seen how you've reinvented and I've not watched anyone do it as well as you. I mean, completely, you know, playing to your strengths and. And so what's different is I think that's it. It's about the ability to understand what your strengths are unique and and then also not as they are in a context. So really understanding that you have strengths to bring to a situation, to a job which may not be the same kind of job that you've been in in the past, and that the ability for you to talk about your strengths and tell a story about how bringing those strengths to this new environment, to this new job, to this new team, to this new person will be the right fit for you. You you those are that's what's different as opposed to a lot of people who just, you know, they look for if they were, you know, an insurance broker, they want to be an insurance broker. If they were an accountant, they want to find another job where they could be, you know, a good CPA. And so what you have to start to take a step back at is think about not so much the jab at the strengths that you bring. And and be honest about how how much you may have to learn to bring those strengths into a different environment, because just because you're somebody who can. Like for myself, be a pretty good problem solver. You know, you have to be willing to learn how to solve problems in the new environment versus the past. And so there has to be a learning component as well. So what I would say the big the big takeaway is really owning what your strengths are and really being able to understand what you're going to have to learn. And then you can even tell the story that you will have to learn. But take a bet on me, because I've done that several times. But if you don't have those components, then you're really not going to be successful with a career invention because, you know, then then it's really much more about retraining a past job as opposed to inventing something entirely different. What would you say, Blythe?
Blythe Kazmierczak: Well, it makes me think of the analogy of dating and using the dating analogy. Let's say that you were in a relationship and it ended badly. And one of the things they talk about often in that kind of situation is a very likely outcome is the next set of decisions you make as a rebound relationship that doesn't last. And I think about the same thing in a job where either was so unhappy I had a pit of my stomach or the rug got pulled out from under me, me, me. And even if I had a good experience in that job, the way it ended was frustrating. And, you know, it wasn't in my choosing or it wasn't in my control or it didn't feel like, you know, the outcome. I wanted to jump into a recreation of that same job in a different context is essentially or doing the opposite. So they didn't have that experience. Again, is a reactionary ping pong career jury move instead of really having the moment to reflect on the experience, giving a little time and really being thoughtful about what did I learn? What did I love doing? Who were the people that I had synergy with and that I got that feedback from either not add a boys or a positive, but feedback that gave me energy in that experience. And then what does the next version of that look like? That is learning from what I loved about it, but maybe strips away a few things that were in my way or frustrating or something like that. And I often think about career reinvention and an evolutionary framework of I can't go backward. Life is moving forward. And so the next version has some new twist on it. What is going to be the thing that I learn take on, get exposed to that's different than what I had before. And it's just a layering of one more thing on top vs. I'm just going to literally like Tracey said, I was a learning development specialist and I'm going to go become a learning development specialist in a different company that may be a career in reinvention or it might be trying to recreate a relationship that didn't end in you accomplishing what you wanted.
Tracey Wik: There's one other thing, too, that as I was hearing you talk about it. I love the dating metaphor. So I think that there is a lot that the other part of this about this podcast is about the future of work and how fast the future is coming to us every day and how quick the things are changing. And I think that that's very scary for a lot of people. So I think it's scary for me, too. It's scary, I know. To think about. Wow, you know, maybe next week, you know, I might not be as competitive as I am this week or this, you know, next year or whatever. But but I think that that future change can really be a very positive influence on you as you think about re-creating and not thinking about what are the skills in the future and what are the strengths that you have. So I think that we can talk more about this as we get into some of the how-tos and certainly how people have done this. But but I think there's no better time actually to think about a career reinvention vs., you know, just doing more of the same. And what I have often seen in situations like when you're talking about getting another job, there's a factor that I call a "good enough" factor, which I think is really a big kind of thing that people need to take a look at for themselves, which is is it good enough? And that is really, in my opinion, you know, something that you should be very afraid of, because being good enough for me meant that I tolerated this situation with this job much longer. You know, you have a sense of what's right, what's not right. You know, you look at all the statistics. I mean, people are know eighty one "percenter" when I'm dreading Sunday night, you know. And so I would say that there's a part of it where you're just content enough. And that is really something that's keeping you in a place that is not as good as it could be. Right. And so the opportunity to kind of take inventory, that I think is another thing. The difference is, as you see, just getting another job versus reinventing something that really inspires you.
Question 2: Are you ready for a career reinvention?
Blythe Kazmierczak: Let's say you're listening to this podcast because you've decided already to make a career move or you're in the process of reinventing yourself or perhaps you're thinking about it and you're not sure yet. Are you ready to do it? Are you ready to kind of go through that change process as human beings? You know, routine is comforting things. You know, people, you know, jobs, you know, tasks, you know, that's comfort. Right. And so that the idea of starting over and creating something takes a lot of mental and emotional energy. And you have to be at a place in life when you that you kind of put that creative process at the center and focus on it. And one of the things that I know I get asked is I talk to people who are in this situation is, you know, is it time? Am I ready? And so I'd love to hear your thoughts, Tracy, about how you knew you were ready or how you think people could know they were ready.
Tracey Wik: Well, I it's funny. I I don't think I knew I was ready until the rug was pulled out from underneath me. It's kind of like what you were talking about. And so I think a "good enough" factor is part of it. So part of it is do you. Are you like Blythe? I mean, do you start to drag or are you like me at 3:00 p.m.? Do you look at the clock and you know, it's Sunday and you're like, OK. You start to think about Monday and it's not thinking about Monday, like, wow, I can't wait to get to work. You're thinking about bracing yourself for walking into your office. Right. So that that's the first place. But I think that and more importantly, you you have to think about the the motivation part of what is motivating you. And are you wanting to have a place of appreciation where you share an idea and instead of of have someone else taking credit for it? You know, you are appreciated for having that idea shared in a meeting. That's that's a very common particularly for women. I think the other one for four, depending on where you are in your career, is a sense of purpose. Like am I am I am I putting my talents in a place where I feel that I'm contributing to the to the greater sense of what is a line for my values, whether, you know, that's about, you know, personal value that you have or so it's about how you see the world. And I think that that's a big one. You know, I talk with my godson and he's 22. And I know people rip on the Gen Zs and millennials like that. They are you know, they're not willing to kind of roll up their sleeves like, you know, the X'ers like us in terms that are boomers in the way that we did. But when I talked to him, when I talked to Jeremiah, he's very specific about what he's willing to put his talents towards and what he isn't. And he's went to make the sacrifices, you know, about it. And, you know, he's it's really given me an illumination about how he's unwilling to spend time in a situation where he doesn't feel that his purpose is aligned to the job that he's working in, is aligned to his higher purpose, which, you know, I respect. So you think, well, how do I know this? Right. Because these are kind of lofty goals to think about, because you don't walk around sometimes thinking, well, am I highly motivated? You know, it's kind of hard to say because it's going to be a different experience reinventing than it is just defined. You know, going on a job site and applying for a job, you're going to have to learn to do different things. But I think just tapping into these too big, you know, I think higher, higher goals for people can give you a sense of are you willing to get started on what is what is it going to take? Because without it, I think it's kind of hard to think about reinventing because you have to have that clarity.
Blythe Kazmierczak: I totally agree about the motivation piece, especially. So, I think of the analogy of climbing a mountain like can feel overwhelming to make a career, you know, reinvent yourself, reinvent your career or reinvent like what that whole thing looks like. So much of our identity is wrapped into what we do, especially here in America. And as a result, the pressure around shifts and it can shake you at the core. And so as a result, it's really about do you have the motivation and energy and kind of you're going to wake up every day feeling like I'm going to I'm going to tackle whatever I need to to make this happen. It's that important to you. And if you are figuring out what's inspiring to you and what would help that motivation feed itself and be kind of a virtuous circle. Those are the things where it's like, are you clear about what that inspiring purpose is? Because if you're not clear, it can be hard to move. And are you at a point where you're ready to let go of whatever it is you held on to and get uncomfortable? And there's points in my life when I knew I should make a change, but I wasn't ready to be uncomfortable. I had a newborn or I had, you know, a family situation that was tenuous or I just bought a house and I needed to or I was about to buy a house and I needed my credit rating to not change at all. And have that transaction in there or whatever the situation is, can influence your readiness. And it's just being really honest with yourself about. Am I ready to be uncomfortable and am I clear about what I'm inspired about? And if you can answer those two questions with confidence, you're ready. And if you can't, I think those are two places where it's OK to be in kind of passive career reinvention, where you're thinking about those questions and noodle and, but you're not yet ready to go full on. That's OK, too, right? It's just about kind of being where you're at and being clear about where you are in the process.
Question 3: What are the barriers or things that make us pause or hesitate?
Blythe Kazmierczak: So the next kind of in the same vein, but look, a little bit of twist on it is thinking about what gets in our way. What are the barriers or things that make us pause or hesitate? And we've touched on a little bit of this, but just to dig a little deeper. What makes this so hard to make the leap into kind of I'm actively going to tackle this. So maybe, Tracey, you think about what are your thoughts about that?
Tracey Wik: Well, I think there's some very practical things that get in the way. And you talked about it. Right. I mean, a two year old that you just adopted that is going to have two major surgeries. You're buying a house for the first time. You have a newborn. You have a mother. I mean, for a while I've seen my mother who was three and a half hours away. Then my dad had to move my dad. And I mean, those are all really practical, real life situations. And that I think that there is a comfort in being known. I think that's the biggest one. There's a comfort in being known for who you are. There's a comfort in knowing, even if you have a boss that you don't like, you know, what's the expression? The devil is the devil you know, is better than the devil that you don't know. And I think that there's a big fear of the unknown. And so I think pragmatism and the sort of the false sense of certainty, because it is very false, particularly today of knowing something is really to me the two biggest things that get in people's way from moving, you know, taking action. And I think that. Those are. Things that I'm not going to be glib. I mean, you have to think about and certainly I've been in situations where I've had those pressures, but I've taken action anyway because I think that there's there is a way to get from here to there that's not so scary. And I think that's why you and I are dedicated to this creating this movement, because we've both done it, both when we've been forced to. But then also when we have it, when we just kind of chosen. And so if we can help people kind of bridge that gap no matter where you are. But to me, those are the two biggest ones. Right.
Blythe Kazmierczak: So, too. One of the things that is really important as you go through these kind of twists and turns in life is the relationships that you lean on and the council you keep as you navigate these types of things. And some folks are are blessed to have people in their lives that are really good at coaching and really honest with them and really insightful. And some folks don't necessarily. They have wonderful relationships. They just don't have, you know, a person like that or a set of resources like that in their network. And one of the things that I know, I know tomorrow's Thanksgiving and I am reflecting on why Tracey and I have partnered together for 20 years. We met in graduate school and partnered on a graduate project and started to realize really how much we could. Learn from each other and the experiences we each had that were similar enough that we could relate to each other, but different enough that I got something I didn't have when I started in the conversation or in the interaction. And as a result, I think over that time I have a partner who sees me fully and who understands. How I'm wired and complements it enough, but also a similar enough that there's just not a lot of friction, and I feel like when I get advice from her or thoughts from her or challenged by her or bossed around by her, I know that it comes from a place where she's focusing on me being a better version of myself. And so that partnership is why we're creating this movement together. It's why we continue to kind of seek each other out to find ways to collaborate. And we have for years. And I think it also is part of our nature to create things that help others. And that's why also I think we're good partners to each others were generous with each other and many of the people that we have in our lives. So, Tracey, you want to speak on the same point?
Tracey Wik: Well, I think that what why we we decided to do this is because people are always calling us, asking us how do we do it? And we had this coffee meeting where we were like, you know, we seem to be called upon, like, how did you do it? And even people that on the surface, you would think, why are they asking me that? Yeah, they're the CEO of something or they they are a doctor and they seem like they got it all figured out. Like, I'm just you know what? Why are you asking me this? But what's interesting is to Blythe is always my first call. Whenever I'm in trouble or whenever I'm celebrating something really fabulous, it's happened to me, you know, certainly in my life, but definitely at work. I pick up the phone and she is my first call. And I know I'm her because we talked about this. I'm her first. And so it's we're blessed, the two of us, to have each other. But it's because of what she said. Know she's gonna tell me the truth. She's going to tell me, you know, I think you're not seeing things clearly here. And it's always with this commitment of seeing, you know, the best and highest self in me and taking action. And I think that if we could create a place where you all as you are going through no questions or is this the right time or hame with the rub, just get pulled out of me and you could have us as your first call in the community and and and foster a community of like picking up the phone for the first call, either figuratively or literally. That is a really, I think, key part of creating a reinvention of your career, because without it I just think it's too scary. Like I think sometimes where would I be if I didn't have Blythe? I don't know if I'd be as far as I am because I had you'd need one person in your corner as you do this, and hopefully you'll have a whole community behind you, but you need at least one person. So I think that's really critical for me to to create that. And I certainly have that with Blythe.
And That is a Wrap
Blythe Kazmierczak: So with that, we have our wrapping up our first podcast, and I hope that all of you have enjoyed listening to what we're up to and what we're about. And I really encourage all of you to get engage in this reflection. And I hope join us in this movement of helping yourself or helping others reinvent their career and their work life. So with that. Thank you. Thanks for joining this episode of Love Sunday Nights for more resources and support join our community online at www.lovesundaynights. Feel free to share this with those in your life that may be looking at making a change in their career or their Sunday nights. Like us on iTunes and share us on social media. We would love to be able to help just one more person.
